step one to gettin out of abuse.

Here is something every person should contemplate about. What are these women doing to help themselves out of these situaations that they are in? I know that there is something that can be done? But one cannot help one whom does not search for it. One can get out of the situation of one does bother to look. seek and you will find what it is that you are looking for. Primarily, there could be children involved, but there is always another option. I know that there are some whom don't like to be abused, but how to get out is what they are always looking for. well....leave him. It is that simple. go while the man is at work. take nothing with you. or say that you are running a few errands and don't return. Have someone take you from church...one that can be trusted of course. There are plenty of people here in this world, but you must first care about yourself. Then come up with an agenda.

Spousal abuse continued...

As painstaking as this may sound, your spouse could very well be a stalker. You have left the relationship, but there is always the harassment, the obscene phone calls and of course the famous line "If I can't have you no one can" right? Well in my situation, I had no choice but to flee the state. I had too many problems, too many people that knew that he and I were together, and he had too many people that were following me for him. He knew my every move. But now, he is there and I am here. I couldn't walk the across the street without living my life in fear. Now I don't have to be afraid anymore. But one should not have to leave their state right? So what does one do? Anyone?

spousal abuse continued...dependency

There is another thing that your spouse wants you to feel. He wants you to solely depend on him. Financially, emotionally, and physically. He will try to get you away from everone. You ever get the feeling that your man doesn't want you to have any friends at all. Female or male? Isolation is the first key to controlment. Once he gets you away from your outside circle, he will then get you away from your family too. I have been there. Done that. And moved on. You have got to do what is best for you. If you have kids together he will try to use them as a crutch to keep you in that abusive relationship. He will make you feel like there is no one out there for you, and you will believe him...until you get some sense to leave him. Go ahead...take him to court for the kids. Get yourself together. Be strong. Don't let him get you down. You need your immediate family. Use your mind. Get up and get a life.

spousal abuse and why it occurs part one.

There are many theories and studies to try and explain why men abuse women. Among them are social stress, power, dependency, alcohol, pregnancy, and marriage.When a man gets off work he wants to relax. He comes home thinking that everything is peaches and creme when the spouse cooks a meal and has the house tidy, the man still finds something to nag her about. Not once does he show her appreciation for what she has done for him. He makes the woman feel neglected because he don't care about her feeling, only to please himself and to relieve his stress, and to hurt her would make him feel like a "man". He has low self esteem and he wants to feel powerful. But in all reality he is weak. He don't even know how to let himself feel what is really there. He is afraid...so he wants you to be afraid of him. But one musn't show fear at all. Don't let him see that what he is doing is hurting you. Because a woman is naturally stronger than a man. We are the ones giving birth!!!